The High of Motherhood (and the Low of Mothering)

When my oldest son was first born, I was in an incredible state of awe. Words are so hard for me to use to describe how those first months went. I had finally achieved what I had always felt I was sure to become….a mother. It just felt right. I knew where I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to be doing, and what I wanted to do in the future. I was me and I didn’t want to be anyone else. When he cried, I knew instinctively what he needed. I lived in the moment and was observant of everything that was happening around me. For once, I didn’t think, I just was. One true indicator of how in awe I was with my life is that I can’t remember a moment of reading in the first few months. I even missed a new release of one of my favorite authors.

Before I knew it,  I was pregnant again and I ‘knew’ that it would go just as smoothly. If Drew began sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, then Alex would surely be just as early. Heck, I was an expert, maybe he would get it even earlier. (This is where you can start laughing.)

I WAS WRONG. SO VERY,  VERY WRONG!

I loved my little boy, just as much, and it was just as powerful as I would have imagined. For the first few weeks, we were in sync and everyone, including myself, thought I had won the lottery with another easy baby. That is, until the food allergies kicked in, and we quickly fell out of our rhythm. It took ten months before we had our fears confirmed and still longer as more and more allergies have been discovered. For every cry, I ruminated over what to do and how to soothe him. Before the diagnoses, I worried and worried over what I was doing wrong and how I could make him happy. Smiles were so rare and sleep-filled nights even rarer. After, I stayed up wondering how I was going to feed him and how to keep him safe.

Fast forward to 30 months and my little man and I are so together. I’ve never known any child to be so empathetic and loving, so self-sacrificing and thoughtful. Whether he’s telling me not to be sad (Happy, Momma!) after another disappointing allergist appointment or sharing a rare treat with his brother, Alex is an angel. As for me, I’ll admit it fully, becoming a mother gave me a high, being a mother has given me humility, exhaustion, endless worries, and a heart so full, it is almost bursting.

A Week in the Life

I'm one of those people that always seems to have a story. You know, the one that got a speeding ticket, a flat tire, and ran out of gas on the way home from getting fired at work. Okay, well, maybe I'm not one of THOSE people...but close. I've been incredibly lucky in the big things...the wonderful husband, the healthy children, and great friends. However, I seem to always have these crazy things happening to me. So here's a week in my life....

Monday: On the 25 minute commute to preschool, on a stretch of road that we are unable to pull over on, my son had an accident in his car seat. He begged for us to pull over but waiting in line at a toll booth on a bridge made it impossible. (Note: Cleaning urine out of a car seat is an incredibly difficult job).

Friday: Hmmm! Let's see how to put this simply. On Friday night, while my husband worked on the holiday, my dog escaped from the yard. We found her tied up in the backyard of a neighbor. We were unable to easily get her back and had to rescue her through an elaborate recovery operation. Thankfully, she is home and she is safe and I'm assured that my husband loves me.

Sunday: My husband and I have been enjoying little bits of time where the monkeys actually enjoy playing with each other without mom and dad's help. Unfortunately, in those 20 minutes of tranquility, the monkeys slipped into the bathroom with a full bag of wipes. Can you guess what happened when you put together wipes, a toilet, and two mischievous monkeys? Two inches of water and wipes absolutely everywhere.

So that's three crazy little moments...There's sure to be more to come.